Roles and Responsibilities of a Father in a Family

What does it mean to be a father?

A father is a male parent of a child or a man who has the responsibility of raising a child. The relationship between a father and his child, therefore, can be biological, personal, legal, religious, or cultural.

There are a lot of personal, social, and legal benefits of being a father. It gives a sense of entitlement, and hope of continuity, and improves the social status of an individual. It is a great privilege to be a father. For many men, fatherhood is a pride and a status they want to attain.

Fatherhood, however, comes with legal and civil responsibilities which are the children's rights. Not every father, necessarily, takes charge of these responsibilities, but it is expected of you as a father to be responsible. You must take up your responsibilities and play your role as a good father. Your children have the right to look up to your responsibilities on them and enjoy the best of you.

Your Roles and Responsibilities as a Good Father

1. Child raising and mother care:

The father’s responsibility begins from the moment a woman becomes pregnant. The father must be there with the mother of his child(ren) during pregnancy, take care of her, support her, take her through medical care and prepare for the unborn child. Once the child is born, the father should also assist in caring for the child and assisting the mother until the child grows up to an independent adult.

A father can assist in feeding, bathing, and dressing up the child in the absence of the mother or when the mother is busy. A father should also be able to assist or take every responsibility of a mother, except breastfeeding. Although some of such responsibilities are not primarily for the father, assisting your wife is your responsibility as a husband and father.

2. Family provision:

It is the responsibility of a father to provide for his family. This is one of the most important and basic roles you must take as a father. At younger age, children depend solely on their parents for survival. You must ensure that your family has all the basic needs of life such as food, shelter, clothing, medical care, and every other need that may arise in order to make your family happy.

There should be no excuse in this aspect of being a father. Failure to take up this responsibility can influence other aspects of your fatherhood. You must try your best, even if you are poor. Do not allow your poverty to stop you from taking your basic responsibilities of providing for your family. You do not need much to make your family feel that you care; all you need is your commitment and readiness to play your part.

Providing for your children is one aspect of care they deserve from you. It might mean that you are not a father enough if you do provide for the basic needs of your children. This is where you have to fight as a warrior, at least, to place food on your family's table.

3. Role of a father in protecting the family:

A father is the family defender and protector. It is your responsibility to protect the interest of your family. Your wife and children should be able to feel secure whenever you are around them. Take this role as a sole responsibility because, while the mother can assist in providing for the family, this role may always be on you.

Your family sees you as a warrior, you have to be or act like one; if not to protect them, to make them feel your presence. Even if you are so weak that you cannot engage in physical fight, you have act strong and ensure that your children feel safe whenever you are around them. Strangers should not be able to harass your children in your presence.

"Every family needs a man who is man enough; 'father' is his title".

Protecting your family goes beyond fighting for them, it means making them feel you can sacrifice even your all and your life to them. This is why you are a father, and you must accept this fact.

4. Leadership role of a father:

A father is a leader. You should be able to lead your family well. The family is a nuclear society. If you are unable to lead your family properly, it will be very hard for you to be able to take an important leadership role in the society; even if you do, you may not be effective because charity begins at home.

Leadership in this case is not synonymous to tyranny. No, you do not need to act like a tyrant or a boss. Leadership means being able to direct your family in a manner that can yields good results.

Employ loving, caring and peaceful approaches to influence your family and guide the path of your children. You can set simple rules and employ other leadership tricks that would enable your family to grow in love and harmony.

5. Family motivation and inspiration:

As a father, you should be a motivation and inspiration to your family. A father is not supposed to discourage his children. Give them advice that would make them live a worthy life. Tell them what it means to face life. Inspire them by your actions and behavior. Even if you are not meeting up to their expectations, make them know that they can do better than you.

Sometimes you have to force yourself in doing things you would not possibly do for the sake of your children. You have to be strong in weakness and smile in sadness to give them hope.

"It is a mistake to be a weak father. A weak father is like a house foundation that cannot withstand simple storms."

While the whole family is weeping, be the one to comfort them. If you cannot hold your tears, cry in secret. This gives them hope and inspire them to be strong as well.

6. Disciplinary role of a father:

A father should be a disciplinarian. You must discipline your children when they are wrong. Children are born innocent; it is what you tolerate from them that they feel is right. It is what you inculcate in them that they are going to abide by.

Discipline is a major aspect of child training and an important responsibility of a father. Unfortunately, most parents do not discipline their children any longer because they tend to love and pity them so much that they miss their tracts.

Discipline is not cruelty or punishment, therefore, your love for your children should not stop you from disciplining them when they go wrong.

Discipline does not need to be harsh. Besides cane, there are other aspects to discipline you can employ. For instance, you should not give a child everything he/she needs but what is necessary. By so doing, that child would learn self-control and patience.

“Train up a child, in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it”-Proverbs 22:6

Many irresponsible adults we find today in society are products of parents who did not train them well. The society has an influence on individuals, no doubt, but the early influence from parents and guardians affects one’s personal life over the the society.

7. A father should be a role model:

Your children look up to you, they probably would emulate you. They monitor everything you do on daily basis.

Your behavior as a father can send a stronger message to your children more than discipline and verbal advice. This is because children are quick to understand what they see over what they hear.

Be conscious of everything you do or say at home because your children see you as their role model. If you are a wicked person, you might have a child who grows up with wickedness and cruelty. If you are kind, your children will learn the need to be kind. Live an exemplary life, if for nothing else, for the sake of your children.

8. Education and skill sponsorship as father's responsibility:

The father's role of provision is not limited to providing the basic needs of the family like food, shelter, and clothing. A father should be able to afford more demanding aspects of his children like education.

As a father, you must be ready and able to send your children to school. Providing basic needs is not enough for you to claim the title of  “a father”. Education or skill is very important. If you do not take the responsibility to sponsor your children's education or skill training, they may end up becoming irresponsible people who also would not be able to take responsibility for their families.

It is better to stay hungry to invest in your children’s future. This is what can make them proud of you when they grow up as adults.

"Your children may forget the cloth you bought and the candy you brought home from work during their childhood, but they will never forget your investment in their education or skill learning."

 

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9. Responsibility of a father as a family planner:

Family planning in this instance is not only about controlling the number of children to be given birth to. A father should plan for his family in its entirety. This includes making immediate and long-term plans for the family.

• Short-term family planning

Immediate planning or short-term plan is about thinking about how to improve the living standard of your family, how to ensure that they do not lack what to eat, wear or where to live. It also involves planning about what to do next to keep things going in proper order in the family. 

• Long-term family planning

Long-term planning on the other hand has to do with plans that will influence the future of your family and children and family. Such planning involve the proper family planning about how many children you cannot take care of and ensuring that you do not swallow more than what you can chew.

It encompasses that you as a father ensure that your children have a secured future. Long-term planning also includes investing in your children to become great people, making capital investments for them to have what to inherit from you after you die, and setting long-term goals for them.

A father should set plans that will enable his children to have what to eat and means to go to school even in his absence. A father’s poor planning can be so dangerous to the future of his children. And it is an aspect of failure on the part of many fathers.

10. Role of a father as a decision-maker:

A father is the decision-maker of the family. It is a responsibility of a father to make good and sensible decisions for his family. Avoid any decision that can affect the family negatively or create chaos or disagreement in the family.

If the family seems not agree with your decision, call a meeting, and tell them about the reason you are making that decision and how they are going to benefit from it.

Ensure that your decision is not too strict but positive. Also, you have to know that once your decision goes wrong, it is going to harm every member of the family. Therefore, be careful while deciding for everyone because the consequence is general.

11. Role of a father as a companion:

It is your role as a father to be part and parcel of your family. Let them see you as a friend, as a partner, as a companion, and as a father.

Do not allow anything to steal the time you should have with your family. Take them out on sunny days, play with your children whenever you have a chance, crack jokes with them when the atmosphere is good and tell them that you love them.

Once your children see you as their best friend, a lot of things are going to be easy for you. They will see your fouls as mistakes and listen to you when you advise them.

Children do not respect or obey cruel fathers. They only live in fear and retaliate when they become adults. One of the worst mistakes you should notmake is failing to have time for your family and denying them your friendship and companionship as a father.

12. Responsibility of a father as a teacher:

A father plays the role of a teacher. It is your responsibility as a father to teach your children what they need to know. Teach them morality and ethics. Let them be able to differentiate what is good from what is bad. If you fail to teach your children, society will teach them for you and their teaching may not always yield a good outcome.

Every education your children receive should be secondary to what you have taught them from childhood. The importance of teaching your children what they should know is that when they go out there, they will be able to compare and contrast what you have taught them with what they learn away from home. This will help them to decide what they think is right and what they want to accept into their lives. If your children decide to follow bad teachings after you have shown them the way, they will have themselves to blame.

Besides moral teaching, lead your children in the ways of God. Inform them that there is God that rewards both good and evil. If they grow up to believe otherwise, it is their "cup of tea". Also, assist them in solving academic problems (as a teacher) if you can.

Conclusion on roles and responsibilities of a father in the family:

As a father, you are a teacher, a leader, a role model, a warrior, a motivator, an inspiration, a provider and the one everyone looks up to. You are the immediate god in the family. See your fatherhood as a privilege and take those responsibilities as a gift of nature. A lot of challenges may arise to hinder you from being the best father you dream of. Motivate yourself or find any source of inspiration that can make you function well as a father. Do not give up to those challenges, fight as a warrior and you will overcome it call. Good luck!

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