My Experience with Emotional Numbness: How I Recovered from It

Emotional Numbness: Meaning, Symptoms and My Experience

For a long time, I thought I was fine. I went about my daily routine, with a busy schedule pretending to be okay, but deep down, I was struggling. I felt empty, disconnected, and numb. Every opposite sex either seems like a brother, colleague, or business partner. Everything in the professional mode. It wasn't until I realized I was experiencing emotional numbness that I began to understand the depth of my pain.

What is Emotional Numbness?

Emotional numbness is a state of being disconnected from one's emotions, feelings, and sensations. It is a coping mechanism that helps us cope with anxiety and survive traumatic experiences, but when it becomes a default mode, it can be debilitating.

Symptoms of Emotional Numbness

- Disconnection from emotions and feelings

- Lack of motivation and purpose for love life. 

- Feeling empty and hollow

- Difficulty forming meaningful emotional connections

- Numbness to pleasure and pain.

My journey and Experience with Emotional Numbness

You know that point where everyone around you expects something from you, ( because of who you are, places you've visited, people you've met) they want to see your life complete, they want to see you shine in full glory, they want to see you get married, and would even ask you what's going on, but it seems like their expectation doesn't mean anything?

And to the one you hold dear, you open up that you are suffering from emotional numbness, hoping they will understand and take things easy with you.

But you'll get something like, "that's because you are still holding up to the past, I just hope, I just hope the time of realization won't be too late".  

But how will I regret something that has saved me from being hurt and broken? If this is not a safety precaution, then what is it?

Well, I truly understand that your thoughts for me are good and not evil, but I wish you understood this. That marriage is not for me and I'm not ready to make someone's child suffer emotional negligence.

I remember the day I realized I was numb. That was when someone I felt I could say yes to came and I turned down. That is because, no man seemed to bring me neither joy nor sadness and no man deserved to be treated badly. I'm just there. Sometimes, I'd even pretend to catch the flow but as it is, you can't deceive yourself. So the best way to save them is to let them go. (I have the fear of God at least). I felt like a robot, living a life without marital purpose or passion. It was a scary realization, but it sparked a desire to seek help.

The Battle: How I Recovered from Emotional Numbness

Breaking free from emotional numbness has been a challenging journey for me. It required me to confront my past, face my fears, and learn to feel, trust, open up and love again. I had to develop healthy coping mechanisms, to trust again, breakeven the professional mode, communicating with the opposite sex (but with strict boundaries though), go on date, practice self-care, and seek support from loved ones and professionals.

Conclusion

Emotional numbness is a sickness, but it's not incurable. With time, patience, and support, I'm learning to feel again, to love again.  I'm discovering a new sense of purpose and passion for emotional relationship, and I'm grateful for the journey. If you're struggling with emotional numbness, know you're not alone. There is hope for healing and a life filled with emotion, connection, and meaning.

This is the story behind Heal UP. I am still on the journey, hoping to reach the destination and at perfection we will stand strong to help others, by then maybe I'll share stories of how we got here. 

Additional information:

In my next article, I shall talk about the option B (if you can still remember) I wrote about some time ago. 

God is Interested in your Love Life. 

#Healup #Healingishere #emotionalnumbness #selfhelp

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